all of cee’s posts are giving me headcanons oh no

Gavin only liked it because it made him feel itchy. Not like ants in your pants itchy, but on edge. He always felt like he was walking on rooftops when he was high. It was like some ghost of himself was pulling him towards the edge, and every time he jumped, he felt like he was falling, even though he was still on two feet.

The first time he asked Ray to join him, he was high. A few painkillers and he was gone, free as a bird and watching all the boring people walk. Walk when they could have wings.

“Please Ray. It’s incredible. Trust me. You do trust me, right?” He’d said.

Ray had sighed. “Gavin, I told you I don’t like you like this. It’s not you.”

“No Ray. It’s the best me! I want you to be the best you!” Gavin giggled. It made Ray’s stomach flip, like it had when they first met.

Ray sighed and shook his head, looking anywhere but at Gavin. Gavin sat down next to him and whispered in his ear, “Be my Wendy. Let’s never grow up.”

That night Ray slept on the couch because he couldn’t stand the taste of marijuana on Gavin’s lips.

The next time they were at a party. No one else knew, just him and Ray.

“C'mon, I swear you’ll like it,” he had said, his hand voluntarily jerking in his pocket. Ray didn’t see. He made sure Ray never saw.

“I’m sure I won’t.” Ray shook his cup, the ice singing out as it fizzed against the soda.

Gavin thought for a moment and sat down next to Ray. “You’re always working. Working so hard. For who?”

“The… audience?” Ray looked confused. Gavin wanted to kiss it off. The confusion. The lingering hurt.

“No. You work for people. People who don’t care. I care Ray. Let me care.” He ran a hand through Ray’s hair. Ray pushed him away.

That night Ray didn’t talk to him, but let him cuddle up to him in their bed.

The last time, Ray was in tears.

“Stop asking me Gavin. STOP.”

“Please Ray. Please. I need you to understand. Just take a bloody whiff it won’t hurt! I need you!”

Ray grabbed him. Held him tight. It hurt. “I’m right here Gav. I don’t know where you are, but you need to come to me.”

That night, Ray didn’t sleep. Neither did Gavin. But not a word was spoken.